Saturday, June 5, 2010
Struggling
This has been a weird week. You were the only one I wanted to talk to/hear from/connect with, but for some reason all these other guys came out of nowhere trying to get my attention. It's been rough these past 2 days. I feel good for the most part, but then one small thing happens and it rocks me. I lose that positive high and doubt creeps in. I pray on it..I talk to my other Christian friends, but that "blah" feeling keeps coming back. I know I'm a focal point for attack with the baptism coming up tomorrow evening; I guess I just wasn't expecting it. I feel far from God at times, but I don't think that's really the case. Maybe my perception is being clouded, but knowing that doesn't change the feeling of lonliness that creeps in sometimes. I know that these doubts and sad feelings are all a desperate attempt to get me away from God and that nothing can remove me from Him...I guess I could just use a little support from my Christian friend right now. I miss you.
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I know you weren't trying to "talk to/hear from/connect" with me; and I have a sneaking feeling that I'm one of the "all these other guys"...BUT, I don't want anything in return from you. I want you to keep being super awesome and stay on the up and up. Put a smile on that mug, and keep on rolling that way.
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Thanks Anonymous Guy...it was really sweet of you to leave such a supportive comment. I have my moments of weakness and my perspectives get out of order, but I'm feeling more grounded now. I understand that the devil was working really hard to keep me from the baptism, but it didn't work :D From that struggle I learned how to recognize those attacks in the future and how sneaky sin can be. Today was amazing and I will do my best to keep being super awesome and not allow the enemy to drag me down! Again - thank you! <3
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