It's been a long time since I've lived alone. It's kind of weird. I enjoy my quiet time, but I'm not yet at that point where I can really sit with the quiet. Just not feeling that brave yet. I've always got the TV on. I've been painting alot. Some things unplanned, some things thought out. Learning new techniques and mixing my own colors..it's been fun.
I often wonder how long it will take me to feel comfortable in my own skin. I have come to accept alot of hard things about my life. I'm not where I thought I would be at almost 30, but if someone were to ask me where I wanted to be if I could change things, I'm not sure where that would be. Some days I envy women with children and happy marriages and other days I don't understand marriage at all. Despite being married once before, I really feel like I don't understand marriage at all. How does one logically figure out who they want to be married to? I'm a heart over mind person...and my heart gets attached easily. I have a friend who is really into astrology, like me, and she used to tease me and call me her "little Cancer". She would tease me about becoming so easily attached to people and things. She would hold up an inanimate object and say "Oh telephone, I love you...don't ever leave me!" We would laugh, but yeah...that's me :)
I dunno..too much thinking maybe. One day at a time, that's all I can do towards being alright.
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